What a difference a year makes!

     December 27th. It's been exactly one year since my and Billy's lives changed forever. This is the night we discovered we would soon welcome a new bundle of joy to expand our family. I remember a tidal wave of emotions coming over me immediately: shock, jubilation, worry, panic, disbelief. I tried to picture my life as a mother, and it was incomprehensible to imagine, although I'd dreamed of fulfilling that destiny since I was a small girl.

     Throughout the pregnancy, much to my surprise, I experienced an emotional roller coaster ride. I had originally that it would be a wonderful time of anticipation and joy, but I also grappled with feelings of doubt and stress, as I worried about how this little one would forever change life as we knew it. I spent nine months doing all I could to prepare, but I would soon discover that all my preparation would be in vain, because in the end, you can't truly ever prepare yourself for your first baby.

    Parenthood is definitely a learn as you go process, and I find myself learning something new every day. Going along with that learning comes loving. Everyday I find myself loving even more than I thought possible the day before. I stare into the eyes of our little miracle and I thank God everyday we were chosen to be her parents.

  I sit here in our living room and look around at a room that would have been unrecognizable a year ago - surrounded by toys of every shape, color and size. I realize that a good night for us means getting the opportunity to relax in front of the TV and turn in to bed around 10:00. I realize that we don't have the luxury of hopping in the car and going to catch a movie or go out for dinner anytime we have the urge. I realize that my "spare time" is now spent washing bottles, folding onesies, and pumping, even when I'm dead tired. I also realize, that despite all of this, I wouldn't have it any other way, because the rewards we reap when we see that smile spread across Madelyn's face is worth any trivial sacrifice.

    It's amazing what a difference a year makes. I say it every year,  but this year, it is especially apparent how drastic our life can change in 365 days. We are very fortunate to say that this year, our life has most definitely changed for the better. Not only is Madelyn here, but she is four months old - rolling over, cooing, learning to sit up, and constantly taking in the world around her. It's simply amazing.

   
     We are blessed, and are hopeful that God will continue to grace us with continued love, laughter, and learning in the new year to come. <3