Day 16 - Parents!

What in the world would I do without my parents???

Probably not be able to function, and I'm okay with the fact that I can admit it.

As we speak, my wonderful, loving, giving parents are upstairs helping Billy paint baby boy's nursery, just like they helped paint Miss M.'s nursery, and our living room, and kitchen, and foyer, etc... 

Over the past few months, it seems they've been on the go - helping everyone they can - all while trying to juggle their own busy, busy lives. They've brought us over dinner the last three weeks in a row just to try to help out. These are just small bits of their kindness and support, which they always show. 

The list is never ending.

No matter what I need, my parents have ALWAYS been there to support me, no matter what, and I could never be able to express my gratitude towards all the love and support they've shown me throughout my 30(!) years.

They have shown me the love, dedication, and the unconditional love it takes to be a parent - a true inspiration to me now as I take on the responsibility of raising my own two children. They are a constant reminder and inspiration to how I want to parent, and I am so grateful I can now fully understand and appreciate their hard work, dedication, and sacrifice throughout the years.

Words will never be able to describe the depth of my gratitude, but I hope deep down they know how much I love and appreciate them - always and forever. 

Day 13 - The gift of life

Life is so fleeting. In one instant, it can be taken from us. Each day truly is a gift.

 Today, we had a shocking call that alerted us that Billy's grandmother might not make it through the night. We prayed and prayed, and much to our surprise and thanks to God's mercy, she made it through her surgery. We don't know what the future holds for her, but instances like these force us to think how precious each moment is.

Tomorrow is not promised. Each morning we awake is an opportunity to thank God for the blessing of a new day. Days like today are reminders of how delicate and fragile and fleeting our life truly is. But the good news is that we are not living for this life here on Earth, for we have a far greater paradise awaiting us. It's up to us to live our life like we are living on borrowed time - because we are. 

I know when I awake tomorrow, I will keep this in mind as I go throughout the mundane tasks of my day, thinking about how I want to live my life.

Day 12 - A warm home

Today, the temperature dropped and the wind whipped and the SNOW swirled. It was a sure sign that winter is coming. After a long day, I felt so blessed to walk into our warm, cozy house. Especially when I realize it's been two years (and a day) since our closing date. It might not always seem like our dream home (there's always some project to do!), but I sure am thankful that we have a place of refuge and peace in which to raise our family.

Watching the news coverage of those who have lost everything they own in the Philippines, along with much more, I feel blessed to have a place to lay our head each night. I know there are many who are not so lucky, and so tonight I will relish in the coziness of our home and enjoy every moment, without letting my mind wander to the imperfections I tend to see in the day to day. 

"Home is where your story begins..."

Day 11 - Our Veterans

This morning, I had the privilege of watching 125 of the most adorable first graders sing patriotic songs to guests of honor - veterans. There were great-grandfathers, grandfathers, aunts, and uncles - and the look in every eye was the same - pride. Pride for the service they'd given, for the courage they'd demonstrated, for the selflessness they'd shared.

How easy it is, in the day to day, to forget about these courageous men and women who are busy risking their lives, in foreign lands, away from their families, so that we can go about our day to day life, worrying about silly things like our Facebook posts.

Today, and everyday, I am so thankful for the amazing veterans who make our life as we know it possible. The extent of their sacrifices is incomprehensible to someone like me, but I'm so grateful to have a day like today to stop and truly think about that selflessness.

Thank you veterans, for your valor, wisdom, and strength.

Day 10

Today, on my grandmother's birthday, I am so thankful for my loving Nanny. She's had a tough few months, but I can tell you this - she is one strong woman! She encourages me everyday to have the same strength and resilience as she has. It's amazing and inspiring. 

I have countless memories of her, always a maternal figure who was there for me, supporting me and loving me through every journey. She has lived through so much history, and has passed along her pearls of wisdom as she's learned from them all. I only hope I can leave as wonderful as a legacy in my lifetime, which I don't think she even realizes she's accomplished.

I am so lucky to have her in my life, and love her more than she'll ever know! Happy Birthday, Nanny! 

Day 7 - The light of my life

Today (and everyday), I am thankful for the most precious gift ever - Miss M. She is the most amazing thing to happen to me and I am so grateful and blessed knowing God chose me to be her mother. The sense of pride and love I feel looking at her is overwhelming and is multiplied daily. She constantly amazes me with her sense of humor, new skills, and bubbly personality. My life has forever been changed for the better because she is in my world, and I hope I am a better person because of her. 

She is my life - my world. On days when things get tough, she is my sunshine and my light. Everything I do is for her, and I will be forever thankful.

Day 6 - Moments of Reflection

Today, I am thankful for sunrises. Since daylight savings time this past weekend, I have enjoyed the ride to work with a little bit of sunlight, as opposed to the pitch black. 

This morning the sun came up rising with the most beautiful orange sky, and it was a time when I was able to reflect and enjoy the silence and prepare my mind to face the day in a positive way, with God's promises, made new each morning. 

Although the long commute can be stressful and annoying, I am thankful to have those few moments in the morning to still my mind and prepare my soul to focus. 

Day 5

Today I am thankful that I teach at a school that has such amazingly involved, supportive parents. Today was filled with more conferences, and while I was exhausted, I was so glad to see the faces on the parents of the students I teach. Today each and every parent that scheduled a conference with me came in ready to listen and learn how to help his/her child. 

I've been at a school where things were not so...when I've called and emailed and driven to the houses in order to try to meet and in the end only have about 25% of the parents come and hear what I have been doing day in and day out with their son or daughter, and that's even more exhausting and draining. 

So, although it makes for a long two days, I'm so glad that I have the opportunity to sit down and talk with each parent about the amazing gifts they have in their lives - their children. I am thankful for the parents who ask how I am feeling and are genuinely concerned, the parents who share their appreciation for my hard work, and the parents who bring in homemade cookies to help me get through the day. I am thankful for the parents and families who care so much about their little ones - our next generation!

Day 2

So, it's Day #2 of 30 Days of Thankfulness - although, technically, it's actually day #4 of November. This just goes to show you that in true Stephanie fashion, I'm not completely caught up with life these days. (So what if maybe in the end I'll only have 27 days of thankfulness - I'm doing my best!) 

Especially on a day like today. Today I reeeaaallly had to concentrate and remind myself - constantly - to focus on the blessings in each day. After a typical exhausting day in first grade, I had an exactly 10 minute break, followed by 13 - count them - 13 parent conferences in a row. No break. Not so good on a seven month pregnant lady's belly or bladder. And I get to have another 12 starting at 8 am tomorrow morning. The blessing there is that they start at 8 am instead of 7:20, when school usually starts. I digress. 

On days like today, I'm so thankful for my hubby. He is the best father in the world, a quality I saw in him when we first met. He is so loving, caring, compassionate, attentive...and he loves his little girl unconditionally - almost to a fault! ;) Since the first night she was born, he took control and jumped in, even when I didn't know what was going on. He helped me through the first trying, tiring months when I didn't think I could do it, and he's still helping me when I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day. On a day like today, when I didn't even have the opportunity to see my baby girl, it puts my mind at ease knowing she's at home with the best father ever. Every morning, he is in charge of her morning routine - the morning milk, diaper changing, breakfast preparation and feeding, picking out and changing clothes, dropping her off at daycare (with a few minutes of snuggles and Sesame Street snuck in somewhere inbetween). It's a lot. I honestly don't know how single parents do it. I'm so lucky to have such an amazing man as my teammate in this parenting thing, and in life. 

30 Days of Thankfulness

I'd be lying if I said things around here had been easy lately. But truly, when is life easy? It's just not. But sometimes, it sure does seem tougher than other times. 

 It's been a struggle to make it through with a smile most days, without breaking down and crying every time someone asks me how I am feeling, or how I'm going to make it work with two small ones at home, financially or mentally, because honestly, I still have no idea.

 It's taken all my strength to drag my seven month pregnant, aching, tired body out of bed at 5:15 each morning, hit the ground running, leaving the house while it is still pitch black and before I get to see Miss M, who is still peacefully sleeping in her crib. I scramble into the classroom and go about teaching 25 first graders and try desperately to stay on top of the overwhelmingly mounting pile of demands and expectations that are placed on teachers these days, complete with managing parent volunteers, high school helpers, practicum students, reading groups, math groups, word study groups, and trying to tie in engaging, technological 21st learning century lessons with rigor and relevance. Just when I think I'm tired and the day should be done, I rush back to the car and fly home to try to muster up enough energy to enjoy the two precious hours I get to spend with my baby girl - my world - before she begins pitching a fit and is too tired to keep her eyes open and I have to fight her during the bedtime routine to get her to bed. By the time I get downstairs, I am too exhausted to think about cooking a meal for hubby and I, and I am past the starvation point anyway. I resign myself to dragging my work laptop out and my stack of papers to grade and I work on them until I've hit my breaking point, which is when I drag myself up the stairs and fall into bed just to do it again the next day, all with the impending knowledge that we have a little blessing coming to join our family in just 9 short weeks, and we don't have the time, money, resources, or energy to prepare for him, which just completely sends me over the ledge. 

... Thanks for letting me vent...

The point of my post is to say that I don't by any means feel that I am the only one with these same issues out there. I know so many others are going through exactly what I'm feeling - just making it through day to day - and to an even worse extent in many cases. 

One night when I was feeling particularly sorry for myself and was having a breakdown, my good ole' hubby said, "Steph - you need to stop and think about everything we DO have. Look at the positives." And he's right. I need to stop focusing on the anxiety and worry and stress and focus on what is going right in my life, for me and my family's sake. 

So, I am jumping on the bandwagon. I wanted to do this last year but just didn't ever get around to it, not for the whole month at least, and I'm already behind this year! I am taking a few moments to write down what I am thankful for each day in November. Not only will this force me to look at what's going right in my life, but I hope it will also give me back a few minutes of "me" time in every day, because I do love spilling my heart onto the paper and hate that I haven't had the time or energy to do so lately.

Today, I am thankful for...

A gracious, merciful God who cares about me, loves me, and has a plan for me, even when I don't know what that plan may be. In my current state of mind, God and I have been spending a lot of quality time together - mostly on my 30 minute commutes to and from work each day. I realized the other day  that I hadn't been spending a whole lot of time with him before I started getting in over my head, which made me feel sad and disappointed in my lack of focus towards a God whose focus is always on me, and he's never left my side - during the good, the bad, and the ugly. How easy it is to turn our back on him when things are going our way, but as soon as the times get rough, we cry out his name in desperation. I've been guilty of it before and I'm guilty of it now. I am so thankful; however, that our God provides for us if we are faithful towards him. One of my biggest struggles is just that - being faithful and trusting in him completely. It is so hard for me! I want to know the answers, how it's going to work, when it's going to work. I don't want to struggle. I want to have it all together for my family. But sometimes, I just don't, and I HAVE to just fully rely on God. It's something that is not easy for me. I can't just give it to God and let it go. I've tried, and I'm going to keep trying, but it's something I pray about in my daily conversations. 

Today I am just so grateful to know that he has me in the palm of his hands. He loves me and his blessings are new each day, which I tell myself as I'm hoisting my body out of bed and amble towards the shower each morning. God has never promised us that life would be easy, but he did promise us that he loves us and has a plan for us. 

Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.