Time to workon ME!

Summer is finally here! 

For me, it's actually been here for the past 10 days (perks of being a teacher - yea!) I've been spending that time reveling in the glory that is summer - later nights with my hubby, mornings with my babes, splashing in the pool, fireflies in the front yard, the occasional mid afternoon nap in the heat of the day, a cold drink in my hand, and the time to refocus on what's important and not get lost in the day to day. 

Summer is my time to recharge, refuel, relax. Because the kiddos have to go to daycare twice a week in order to reserve their spot for the school year, I've been blessed with some much needed "me" time. I'm using that time to do things that need to be done, such as clean the house, run errands, meal plan, and sleep (Liam has been regressing in his night time sleeping lately!)

One of the most important things I need to do involves taking care of myself - getting myself healthy for myself and my family. Since I've been pregnant basically nonstop for the past two years and working full time, I've had little energy or time to devote to a workout routine, and I'm now in the worst shape of my life as a result. I'm hoping that writing about my journey will keep my more accountable, although to me, getting fit has always been a very personal thing. However, I'm going to put myself out there and check in every now and then with how it's progressing. 

One of the blessings of Billy's job includes our free membership at the Y. He suggested I check out their "Lose Big" 12 week program that meets on Tuesday and Thursday mornings - the same days I take the kiddos to the sitter. It's nice to work out with a group of women twice a week who can also help encourage and keep you accountable without any distractions or pressing deadlines. After the "Lose Big" workout, there is a "Body Pump" class that meets that I will also be attending. So, every Tuesday/Thursday from 9:45-12 each week, you'll know where to find me - working on myself. 

Wish me luck!

31!

Today, I turn 31 - 31! 

It is surreal, and now that I am actually "in my 30's", it seems much younger than I once thought a decade ago, when I was embarking on the journey that was my 20's.

With another year under my belt, I have 365 days of new experiences that have continued to shape the person I am becoming. I say "becoming" because I now understand how fluid and ever changing our lives truly are. I decided to take a moment to do some reflection about where my journey has taken me and where I'm headed as I continue down the path as a new 31 year old (yikes!).

Although it's cliche, it is absolutely astonishing to think about how much change can occur in one year. When I think back to my birthday a year ago, I was settling into my life as a first time working mother and absolutely adoring every moment that revolved around our eight month old Miss M, having not a clue that a new member of the family would make his appearance in less than a year. Flash forward to today, and you'll find me (sometimes struggling) to settle into my role as a mother of two babes under two, while also trying to come to terms with what this means for me as a working mother, as I prepare to return to work in a few short weeks.

Becoming a mother has both added simplicity and complexity to my life. Simplicity in the sense that I now know what is important. Gone are the days when my insecurities over brand names and what I'm wearing and how I'm looking was perceived by others. I am now comfortable in my skin. I know who I am, who I want to be, and what is important to me. I don't need (ahem, should I say, I don't have time) to worry about what others think - I am a busy bee who is much more occupied with whether or not shit is going to hit the fan when my 20 month old and 3 month old decide to have breakdowns at the same time (which will, by the way, inevitably happen!) I can't worry that my toddler just spread her strawberry yogurt all over the new dress I allowed myself to splurge on for a birthday outing (true story). There are some things you just gotta let go. 

Simply put, I know that for me, my happiness lies in the beauty of my children's smiles, the beautiful infectious laughs that erupt when out playing in the yard, and the sweet snuggles in the softness of night before bedtime. Life is simply beautiful when living in the small, tender moments of our daily routine - even when it's not pretty, (which can sometimes feel like a lot of the time), life is beautiful.

That is not to say that I am completely happy with where I am in life, and to say so would be a failure in my opinion. There is always some degree of self improvement we can make. I am happy with myself and I know what is important for me, but I am also aware of  my personal goals and where I want to go in the future to better myself and make me a happier and healthier person, wife, and mother.

While life has become more simplified in these aspects, it's also become more complex as well. I find my viewpoints and perspectives changing in terms of what I've thought I have wanted my whole life. How do I come to terms with my old dreams and my new ones? How do they fit together, if at all? How do I take what is best for my family and what will help me become a happier person and reconcile the two? Do I sacrifice one for the other, or is there some way to intertwine them both? These questions build layer upon layer in complexity as I examine my new life as the matriarch of our family and how we want that family to look. 

What I want today is different from what I wanted ten years ago, five years ago, and even one year ago. As I head into my thirties and my family evolves, I am evolving with it - seeking balance, focus, and answers.

Through it all, I feel so blessed to have the fortune I have, and wouldn't have it any other way. 

Here's to 31! xoxo

Liam is here!

On Friday, January 10, 2014, William Reid joined our crew and officially made us a family of 4!

He was scheduled to be induced, so in the wee hours of the morning, before light, on a drizzly, chilly Friday morning we arrived to the hospital, suitcases and pillows in tow - ready to meet our little man. 

Mr. Liam's arrival was slightly less eventful than Miss M's entrance, thank goodness. After registration, paper work, and a million questions that needed answering, I began receiving Pitocin on a steady drip that increased every twenty minutes in order to start my contractions on a regular pattern. By 10:00, the doctor arrived to break my water, and my epidural was administered within the hour. (I am just not one of those women, God bless em', who can do the natural route!)

A few short hours later, Mr. Liam joined us at 2:27 pm. He weighed in at a whopping 8 pounds, 12 ounces, and was 20 and three quarters of an inch long. One of the first comments we heard about our little feller' included, "Wow! Look at the size of his hands - and feet!"

He was beautiful and perfect and everything we had dreamed he would be. We spent the first "magic hour" ooing and awwing over him. 

We are so blessed to have him join our family, and every day, we are learning more about the little guy, as he learns more about his world as well.

It certainly is true that the love you hold simply doubles when you have your second, although I was skeptical before Liam's arrival. Seeing both of my beautiful babies together astounds me, and the sense of love and pride I feel is simply indescribable.

I certainly am one lucky mama.

...It's Maddie!

...Just because she's so darn cute and now she thinks she deserves a huge reception every time she enters the room. That's our girl!

... it's just a matter of days...for real!

Well the big D-Day (due date) is upon us - tomorrow. Even though baby boy isn't even technically due yet, I feel as if he is long overdue. It may be because of the constant questioning from others who ask whether or not he is here. It may be because I was so sure myself that we would have a December baby. A few weeks ago, I felt as if I would have him at any moment. Maybe once I slowed down after work let out my body relaxed a little, too. 

Whatever the reason, I am trusting that baby will come when he's supposed to. We've had a lot going on in our household recently. It was quite a rush up until Christmas, with running around, wrapping, baking, and shopping. I honestly was also just trying to get everything ready so I could be out in January for maternity leave. Writing up and preparing my classroom for two weeks of substitute plans was a difficult process right before break at 37 weeks pregnant. (Not to mention, the nursery was nowhere near ready and the house was a wreck from the process of trying to get it ready!)

 In the midst of all of this, I had an episode or two when I didn't feel baby moving as much as I would have liked. When I mentioned this to the doctor at my next visit, she gave me a stress test and an ultrasound and gave me the option of being induced or waiting and paying very close attention to his movements. Being that it was the day before Christmas Eve, I had so much running through my brain, and I felt that waiting would be best. I felt sure he would still make his appearance on Christmas Day. Although I had some Braxton Hicks, baby boy decided he would bake longer and let us enjoy our day, which was exactly what I had hoped for all along. 

(Of course, then we hoped and hoped and hoped that he would hurry and come before the end of 2013 - for the tax deduction - but that didn't happen, either!)

 However, it's been nerve-racking paying attention to all his movements, especially as we move towards the due date. I am always worried that he's not moving enough now, which could be due to the fact that he's growing bigger each day and running out of room! We've also been taking care of Miss M, who has had her share of issues lately, with RSV and an ear infection. I am actually very happy that baby boy has stayed inside - safe - while his big sister gets over this awful virus and will hopefully not be contagious by the time he arrives. (Of course, now the hubby has developed a pretty bad cold and we're just hoping it doesn't get passed around to me...)

So today, I am headed to the doctor to see what she says about when baby boy might be coming and joining our family. I think we are finally ready - whether or not the house needs to be dusted or vacuumed again, or the sheets changed again, or the toys put away again, etc...

We can't wait to meet him! 

More Christmas Playing!

I've been loving all this one on one time I've gotten to spend with Miss M lately! I wanted to include a few more videos for your viewing pleasure from Christmas. (I can never get enough!)

Merry Christmas, 2013

One of the most amazing things about having children is the joy you get to experience through them  - and Christmas time is certainly no exception. This year, the season came and went in the blink of an eye, as it always tends to do. Because of the short turn around between Thanksgiving and Christmas this year, along with the countdown to baby boy's appearance, this year went by especially fast. 

I wasn't so sure that baby boy would wait to come after Christmas, and all I wanted was the opportunity to spend a quiet, relaxing, Christmas with Miss M. - just the three of us, for one last Christmas. Thankfully, our Christmas was not interrupted by a trip to the hospital, and we were able to completely enjoy the day.

Miss M. most certainly enjoyed the day, and was completely overwhelmed with all the presents given to her by Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Mommy, Daddy, and of course, Santa!

What a lucky little girl to be so loved! 

...But we feel even more lucky to be able to shower this little one with our love. She truly helps us remember the reason for this season. 

Baby Boy Update

 A few weeks ago, we had the pleasure of going to see our baby boy again in a 4D ultrasound. We were visiting the specialist to see if his kidneys were dilated, as they were in our 20 week ultrasound. 

At our 25 week 4D ultrasound, the doctor had assured us that everything besides the kidneys looked great, measurement-wise. At that appointment, the kidneys were a normal size, but at this 35 week ultrasound, the right kidney did in fact show some dilation again. 

The doctor said this really is not something to worry or stress about. Sometimes the issue resolves itself, and sometimes surgery is scheduled to correct the situation. Our next step is to wait until baby is born and follow the pediatrician's orders - sometimes they will want to schedule an ultrasound before leaving the hospital, and sometimes they wait until about a month after the baby is born. 

So for now, we will just have to wait and see what the pediatrician wants to do. The specialist mentioned us coming back at 39 weeks to check the kidneys out again, but we are thinking we will probably just wait until baby boy is here. 

While we were there, we were waiting anxiously to see his cute little face. Unfortunately, the appointment was scheduled for early morning - right during baby boy's nap. Sooo, we were hard pressed to get a good shot of his face. He kept his hands over his face the entire time, and even when poked and prodded, he refused to let us get a good look at him. 

The only pictures we could manage were the two below - which are so funny because you can tell he is NOT happy about being woken up during his rest time. He is even poking that little lip out - too cute. 

 

I suppose we'll just have to wait a few more weeks until we see exactly what his little face will look like. But I bet one thing is for sure - when he falls asleep those little hands will be up by his face.

Finding our Christmas Tree!

Growing up, I was so thankful to have been blessed with strong family memories and traditions. As a new mother myself, I am constantly jumping at every opportunity to make my own moments, memories, and traditions for our growing family. Last year, Madelyn was a mere four months old at Christmas, and while we loved enjoying the holiday with her, we are even more excited as she continues to grow with her shining personality, and share the magic of the season with her. 

That's why I was super excited to learn we have a family Christmas tree farm down the road. We knew about the farm last year, but didn't have the time with Billy's inflexible schedule to make the trip, because they are only open on weekends. This year, I was determined to go see what this little farm was all about. On Sunday; however, I was so close to throwing in the towel when running around town on our errands and saying, "let's just grab a tree here" when passing by the hardware stores and parking lot tree vendors.

I am so glad we made the trip in the end. The people at the farm welcomed us warmly and directed us towards a saw and some gloves. They instructed that all trees were a set price, and we set out on our way amongst the rows of conifers.

Madelyn had a blast riding on the tree sled, and in true style, she became agitated when we stopped to ponder our choices. The day was so beautiful, with the setting sun casting a beautiful orange glow among the land. It was just one of those great days when you were happy to be with the ones you love in the great outdoors.

There were several choices, but in the end, one stood out to us. We ended up having to get a pine because of the lack of fir trees, but it had a great shape to it. After we (and by "we" I mean Billy) chopped the tree down, we enjoyed some hot chocolate over by the little firepit. They even had marshmallows to roast.

Once we got it home, it was a little more bare and Carlie Brownish that it had looked in the field, but it was worth the experience, and is one that I can't wait to relive hopefully year after year. 

Day 16 - Parents!

What in the world would I do without my parents???

Probably not be able to function, and I'm okay with the fact that I can admit it.

As we speak, my wonderful, loving, giving parents are upstairs helping Billy paint baby boy's nursery, just like they helped paint Miss M.'s nursery, and our living room, and kitchen, and foyer, etc... 

Over the past few months, it seems they've been on the go - helping everyone they can - all while trying to juggle their own busy, busy lives. They've brought us over dinner the last three weeks in a row just to try to help out. These are just small bits of their kindness and support, which they always show. 

The list is never ending.

No matter what I need, my parents have ALWAYS been there to support me, no matter what, and I could never be able to express my gratitude towards all the love and support they've shown me throughout my 30(!) years.

They have shown me the love, dedication, and the unconditional love it takes to be a parent - a true inspiration to me now as I take on the responsibility of raising my own two children. They are a constant reminder and inspiration to how I want to parent, and I am so grateful I can now fully understand and appreciate their hard work, dedication, and sacrifice throughout the years.

Words will never be able to describe the depth of my gratitude, but I hope deep down they know how much I love and appreciate them - always and forever. 

Day 13 - The gift of life

Life is so fleeting. In one instant, it can be taken from us. Each day truly is a gift.

 Today, we had a shocking call that alerted us that Billy's grandmother might not make it through the night. We prayed and prayed, and much to our surprise and thanks to God's mercy, she made it through her surgery. We don't know what the future holds for her, but instances like these force us to think how precious each moment is.

Tomorrow is not promised. Each morning we awake is an opportunity to thank God for the blessing of a new day. Days like today are reminders of how delicate and fragile and fleeting our life truly is. But the good news is that we are not living for this life here on Earth, for we have a far greater paradise awaiting us. It's up to us to live our life like we are living on borrowed time - because we are. 

I know when I awake tomorrow, I will keep this in mind as I go throughout the mundane tasks of my day, thinking about how I want to live my life.

Day 12 - A warm home

Today, the temperature dropped and the wind whipped and the SNOW swirled. It was a sure sign that winter is coming. After a long day, I felt so blessed to walk into our warm, cozy house. Especially when I realize it's been two years (and a day) since our closing date. It might not always seem like our dream home (there's always some project to do!), but I sure am thankful that we have a place of refuge and peace in which to raise our family.

Watching the news coverage of those who have lost everything they own in the Philippines, along with much more, I feel blessed to have a place to lay our head each night. I know there are many who are not so lucky, and so tonight I will relish in the coziness of our home and enjoy every moment, without letting my mind wander to the imperfections I tend to see in the day to day. 

"Home is where your story begins..."

Day 11 - Our Veterans

This morning, I had the privilege of watching 125 of the most adorable first graders sing patriotic songs to guests of honor - veterans. There were great-grandfathers, grandfathers, aunts, and uncles - and the look in every eye was the same - pride. Pride for the service they'd given, for the courage they'd demonstrated, for the selflessness they'd shared.

How easy it is, in the day to day, to forget about these courageous men and women who are busy risking their lives, in foreign lands, away from their families, so that we can go about our day to day life, worrying about silly things like our Facebook posts.

Today, and everyday, I am so thankful for the amazing veterans who make our life as we know it possible. The extent of their sacrifices is incomprehensible to someone like me, but I'm so grateful to have a day like today to stop and truly think about that selflessness.

Thank you veterans, for your valor, wisdom, and strength.

Day 10

Today, on my grandmother's birthday, I am so thankful for my loving Nanny. She's had a tough few months, but I can tell you this - she is one strong woman! She encourages me everyday to have the same strength and resilience as she has. It's amazing and inspiring. 

I have countless memories of her, always a maternal figure who was there for me, supporting me and loving me through every journey. She has lived through so much history, and has passed along her pearls of wisdom as she's learned from them all. I only hope I can leave as wonderful as a legacy in my lifetime, which I don't think she even realizes she's accomplished.

I am so lucky to have her in my life, and love her more than she'll ever know! Happy Birthday, Nanny! 

Day 7 - The light of my life

Today (and everyday), I am thankful for the most precious gift ever - Miss M. She is the most amazing thing to happen to me and I am so grateful and blessed knowing God chose me to be her mother. The sense of pride and love I feel looking at her is overwhelming and is multiplied daily. She constantly amazes me with her sense of humor, new skills, and bubbly personality. My life has forever been changed for the better because she is in my world, and I hope I am a better person because of her. 

She is my life - my world. On days when things get tough, she is my sunshine and my light. Everything I do is for her, and I will be forever thankful.

Day 6 - Moments of Reflection

Today, I am thankful for sunrises. Since daylight savings time this past weekend, I have enjoyed the ride to work with a little bit of sunlight, as opposed to the pitch black. 

This morning the sun came up rising with the most beautiful orange sky, and it was a time when I was able to reflect and enjoy the silence and prepare my mind to face the day in a positive way, with God's promises, made new each morning. 

Although the long commute can be stressful and annoying, I am thankful to have those few moments in the morning to still my mind and prepare my soul to focus. 

Day 5

Today I am thankful that I teach at a school that has such amazingly involved, supportive parents. Today was filled with more conferences, and while I was exhausted, I was so glad to see the faces on the parents of the students I teach. Today each and every parent that scheduled a conference with me came in ready to listen and learn how to help his/her child. 

I've been at a school where things were not so...when I've called and emailed and driven to the houses in order to try to meet and in the end only have about 25% of the parents come and hear what I have been doing day in and day out with their son or daughter, and that's even more exhausting and draining. 

So, although it makes for a long two days, I'm so glad that I have the opportunity to sit down and talk with each parent about the amazing gifts they have in their lives - their children. I am thankful for the parents who ask how I am feeling and are genuinely concerned, the parents who share their appreciation for my hard work, and the parents who bring in homemade cookies to help me get through the day. I am thankful for the parents and families who care so much about their little ones - our next generation!

Day 2

So, it's Day #2 of 30 Days of Thankfulness - although, technically, it's actually day #4 of November. This just goes to show you that in true Stephanie fashion, I'm not completely caught up with life these days. (So what if maybe in the end I'll only have 27 days of thankfulness - I'm doing my best!) 

Especially on a day like today. Today I reeeaaallly had to concentrate and remind myself - constantly - to focus on the blessings in each day. After a typical exhausting day in first grade, I had an exactly 10 minute break, followed by 13 - count them - 13 parent conferences in a row. No break. Not so good on a seven month pregnant lady's belly or bladder. And I get to have another 12 starting at 8 am tomorrow morning. The blessing there is that they start at 8 am instead of 7:20, when school usually starts. I digress. 

On days like today, I'm so thankful for my hubby. He is the best father in the world, a quality I saw in him when we first met. He is so loving, caring, compassionate, attentive...and he loves his little girl unconditionally - almost to a fault! ;) Since the first night she was born, he took control and jumped in, even when I didn't know what was going on. He helped me through the first trying, tiring months when I didn't think I could do it, and he's still helping me when I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day. On a day like today, when I didn't even have the opportunity to see my baby girl, it puts my mind at ease knowing she's at home with the best father ever. Every morning, he is in charge of her morning routine - the morning milk, diaper changing, breakfast preparation and feeding, picking out and changing clothes, dropping her off at daycare (with a few minutes of snuggles and Sesame Street snuck in somewhere inbetween). It's a lot. I honestly don't know how single parents do it. I'm so lucky to have such an amazing man as my teammate in this parenting thing, and in life. 

30 Days of Thankfulness

I'd be lying if I said things around here had been easy lately. But truly, when is life easy? It's just not. But sometimes, it sure does seem tougher than other times. 

 It's been a struggle to make it through with a smile most days, without breaking down and crying every time someone asks me how I am feeling, or how I'm going to make it work with two small ones at home, financially or mentally, because honestly, I still have no idea.

 It's taken all my strength to drag my seven month pregnant, aching, tired body out of bed at 5:15 each morning, hit the ground running, leaving the house while it is still pitch black and before I get to see Miss M, who is still peacefully sleeping in her crib. I scramble into the classroom and go about teaching 25 first graders and try desperately to stay on top of the overwhelmingly mounting pile of demands and expectations that are placed on teachers these days, complete with managing parent volunteers, high school helpers, practicum students, reading groups, math groups, word study groups, and trying to tie in engaging, technological 21st learning century lessons with rigor and relevance. Just when I think I'm tired and the day should be done, I rush back to the car and fly home to try to muster up enough energy to enjoy the two precious hours I get to spend with my baby girl - my world - before she begins pitching a fit and is too tired to keep her eyes open and I have to fight her during the bedtime routine to get her to bed. By the time I get downstairs, I am too exhausted to think about cooking a meal for hubby and I, and I am past the starvation point anyway. I resign myself to dragging my work laptop out and my stack of papers to grade and I work on them until I've hit my breaking point, which is when I drag myself up the stairs and fall into bed just to do it again the next day, all with the impending knowledge that we have a little blessing coming to join our family in just 9 short weeks, and we don't have the time, money, resources, or energy to prepare for him, which just completely sends me over the ledge. 

... Thanks for letting me vent...

The point of my post is to say that I don't by any means feel that I am the only one with these same issues out there. I know so many others are going through exactly what I'm feeling - just making it through day to day - and to an even worse extent in many cases. 

One night when I was feeling particularly sorry for myself and was having a breakdown, my good ole' hubby said, "Steph - you need to stop and think about everything we DO have. Look at the positives." And he's right. I need to stop focusing on the anxiety and worry and stress and focus on what is going right in my life, for me and my family's sake. 

So, I am jumping on the bandwagon. I wanted to do this last year but just didn't ever get around to it, not for the whole month at least, and I'm already behind this year! I am taking a few moments to write down what I am thankful for each day in November. Not only will this force me to look at what's going right in my life, but I hope it will also give me back a few minutes of "me" time in every day, because I do love spilling my heart onto the paper and hate that I haven't had the time or energy to do so lately.

Today, I am thankful for...

A gracious, merciful God who cares about me, loves me, and has a plan for me, even when I don't know what that plan may be. In my current state of mind, God and I have been spending a lot of quality time together - mostly on my 30 minute commutes to and from work each day. I realized the other day  that I hadn't been spending a whole lot of time with him before I started getting in over my head, which made me feel sad and disappointed in my lack of focus towards a God whose focus is always on me, and he's never left my side - during the good, the bad, and the ugly. How easy it is to turn our back on him when things are going our way, but as soon as the times get rough, we cry out his name in desperation. I've been guilty of it before and I'm guilty of it now. I am so thankful; however, that our God provides for us if we are faithful towards him. One of my biggest struggles is just that - being faithful and trusting in him completely. It is so hard for me! I want to know the answers, how it's going to work, when it's going to work. I don't want to struggle. I want to have it all together for my family. But sometimes, I just don't, and I HAVE to just fully rely on God. It's something that is not easy for me. I can't just give it to God and let it go. I've tried, and I'm going to keep trying, but it's something I pray about in my daily conversations. 

Today I am just so grateful to know that he has me in the palm of his hands. He loves me and his blessings are new each day, which I tell myself as I'm hoisting my body out of bed and amble towards the shower each morning. God has never promised us that life would be easy, but he did promise us that he loves us and has a plan for us. 

Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Cherishing the weekends

Now that I'm back to work, I find myself truly enjoying every moment during the weekends. Especially when the weather is as beautiful as it's been. I love this time of year - when you can feel the crisp, cool feel of fall moving in. 

Last weekend, we took full advantage of the weekend. We started by watching my cousin kill it as a kicker for our local high school football team. 

 

 

 

Miss M. did great at the game, even though we kept her up to almost 10 (eek!) She was thoroughly entertained by the beat of the marching band, the cheering of the cheerleaders, and the dancer's pom poms (oh yea, and the football team!) Of course, people watching provided most of the entertainment.

The next morning, we all enjoyed some blueberry pancakes. It wouldn't be Saturday without a special breakfast treat! 

Then, it was off to Glen Allen Day. We got to see a lot of my kiddos and Miss M. loved seeing all the festivities from the stroller. What a great festival and tradition! 

From there, we headed north to peruse the outdoorsiness that is Bass Pro Shop. Mr. B. was in heaven. We ate at their restaurant for lunch and the highlight was definitely the huge fish tank!

The next day, we enjoyed the weather outdoors at a cookout. Miss M. LOVED the big dogs that were there, although she was slightly overwhelmed by their size at first compared to little miss priss Bella, who is all of 12 pounds.

She was in such delight over the big dog that I had to share this cute video. She just couldn't get enough!