Merry Christmas, 2013

One of the most amazing things about having children is the joy you get to experience through them  - and Christmas time is certainly no exception. This year, the season came and went in the blink of an eye, as it always tends to do. Because of the short turn around between Thanksgiving and Christmas this year, along with the countdown to baby boy's appearance, this year went by especially fast. 

I wasn't so sure that baby boy would wait to come after Christmas, and all I wanted was the opportunity to spend a quiet, relaxing, Christmas with Miss M. - just the three of us, for one last Christmas. Thankfully, our Christmas was not interrupted by a trip to the hospital, and we were able to completely enjoy the day.

Miss M. most certainly enjoyed the day, and was completely overwhelmed with all the presents given to her by Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Mommy, Daddy, and of course, Santa!

What a lucky little girl to be so loved! 

...But we feel even more lucky to be able to shower this little one with our love. She truly helps us remember the reason for this season. 

Baby Boy Update

 A few weeks ago, we had the pleasure of going to see our baby boy again in a 4D ultrasound. We were visiting the specialist to see if his kidneys were dilated, as they were in our 20 week ultrasound. 

At our 25 week 4D ultrasound, the doctor had assured us that everything besides the kidneys looked great, measurement-wise. At that appointment, the kidneys were a normal size, but at this 35 week ultrasound, the right kidney did in fact show some dilation again. 

The doctor said this really is not something to worry or stress about. Sometimes the issue resolves itself, and sometimes surgery is scheduled to correct the situation. Our next step is to wait until baby is born and follow the pediatrician's orders - sometimes they will want to schedule an ultrasound before leaving the hospital, and sometimes they wait until about a month after the baby is born. 

So for now, we will just have to wait and see what the pediatrician wants to do. The specialist mentioned us coming back at 39 weeks to check the kidneys out again, but we are thinking we will probably just wait until baby boy is here. 

While we were there, we were waiting anxiously to see his cute little face. Unfortunately, the appointment was scheduled for early morning - right during baby boy's nap. Sooo, we were hard pressed to get a good shot of his face. He kept his hands over his face the entire time, and even when poked and prodded, he refused to let us get a good look at him. 

The only pictures we could manage were the two below - which are so funny because you can tell he is NOT happy about being woken up during his rest time. He is even poking that little lip out - too cute. 

 

I suppose we'll just have to wait a few more weeks until we see exactly what his little face will look like. But I bet one thing is for sure - when he falls asleep those little hands will be up by his face.

Finding our Christmas Tree!

Growing up, I was so thankful to have been blessed with strong family memories and traditions. As a new mother myself, I am constantly jumping at every opportunity to make my own moments, memories, and traditions for our growing family. Last year, Madelyn was a mere four months old at Christmas, and while we loved enjoying the holiday with her, we are even more excited as she continues to grow with her shining personality, and share the magic of the season with her. 

That's why I was super excited to learn we have a family Christmas tree farm down the road. We knew about the farm last year, but didn't have the time with Billy's inflexible schedule to make the trip, because they are only open on weekends. This year, I was determined to go see what this little farm was all about. On Sunday; however, I was so close to throwing in the towel when running around town on our errands and saying, "let's just grab a tree here" when passing by the hardware stores and parking lot tree vendors.

I am so glad we made the trip in the end. The people at the farm welcomed us warmly and directed us towards a saw and some gloves. They instructed that all trees were a set price, and we set out on our way amongst the rows of conifers.

Madelyn had a blast riding on the tree sled, and in true style, she became agitated when we stopped to ponder our choices. The day was so beautiful, with the setting sun casting a beautiful orange glow among the land. It was just one of those great days when you were happy to be with the ones you love in the great outdoors.

There were several choices, but in the end, one stood out to us. We ended up having to get a pine because of the lack of fir trees, but it had a great shape to it. After we (and by "we" I mean Billy) chopped the tree down, we enjoyed some hot chocolate over by the little firepit. They even had marshmallows to roast.

Once we got it home, it was a little more bare and Carlie Brownish that it had looked in the field, but it was worth the experience, and is one that I can't wait to relive hopefully year after year. 

Day 16 - Parents!

What in the world would I do without my parents???

Probably not be able to function, and I'm okay with the fact that I can admit it.

As we speak, my wonderful, loving, giving parents are upstairs helping Billy paint baby boy's nursery, just like they helped paint Miss M.'s nursery, and our living room, and kitchen, and foyer, etc... 

Over the past few months, it seems they've been on the go - helping everyone they can - all while trying to juggle their own busy, busy lives. They've brought us over dinner the last three weeks in a row just to try to help out. These are just small bits of their kindness and support, which they always show. 

The list is never ending.

No matter what I need, my parents have ALWAYS been there to support me, no matter what, and I could never be able to express my gratitude towards all the love and support they've shown me throughout my 30(!) years.

They have shown me the love, dedication, and the unconditional love it takes to be a parent - a true inspiration to me now as I take on the responsibility of raising my own two children. They are a constant reminder and inspiration to how I want to parent, and I am so grateful I can now fully understand and appreciate their hard work, dedication, and sacrifice throughout the years.

Words will never be able to describe the depth of my gratitude, but I hope deep down they know how much I love and appreciate them - always and forever. 

Day 13 - The gift of life

Life is so fleeting. In one instant, it can be taken from us. Each day truly is a gift.

 Today, we had a shocking call that alerted us that Billy's grandmother might not make it through the night. We prayed and prayed, and much to our surprise and thanks to God's mercy, she made it through her surgery. We don't know what the future holds for her, but instances like these force us to think how precious each moment is.

Tomorrow is not promised. Each morning we awake is an opportunity to thank God for the blessing of a new day. Days like today are reminders of how delicate and fragile and fleeting our life truly is. But the good news is that we are not living for this life here on Earth, for we have a far greater paradise awaiting us. It's up to us to live our life like we are living on borrowed time - because we are. 

I know when I awake tomorrow, I will keep this in mind as I go throughout the mundane tasks of my day, thinking about how I want to live my life.

Day 12 - A warm home

Today, the temperature dropped and the wind whipped and the SNOW swirled. It was a sure sign that winter is coming. After a long day, I felt so blessed to walk into our warm, cozy house. Especially when I realize it's been two years (and a day) since our closing date. It might not always seem like our dream home (there's always some project to do!), but I sure am thankful that we have a place of refuge and peace in which to raise our family.

Watching the news coverage of those who have lost everything they own in the Philippines, along with much more, I feel blessed to have a place to lay our head each night. I know there are many who are not so lucky, and so tonight I will relish in the coziness of our home and enjoy every moment, without letting my mind wander to the imperfections I tend to see in the day to day. 

"Home is where your story begins..."

Day 11 - Our Veterans

This morning, I had the privilege of watching 125 of the most adorable first graders sing patriotic songs to guests of honor - veterans. There were great-grandfathers, grandfathers, aunts, and uncles - and the look in every eye was the same - pride. Pride for the service they'd given, for the courage they'd demonstrated, for the selflessness they'd shared.

How easy it is, in the day to day, to forget about these courageous men and women who are busy risking their lives, in foreign lands, away from their families, so that we can go about our day to day life, worrying about silly things like our Facebook posts.

Today, and everyday, I am so thankful for the amazing veterans who make our life as we know it possible. The extent of their sacrifices is incomprehensible to someone like me, but I'm so grateful to have a day like today to stop and truly think about that selflessness.

Thank you veterans, for your valor, wisdom, and strength.

Day 10

Today, on my grandmother's birthday, I am so thankful for my loving Nanny. She's had a tough few months, but I can tell you this - she is one strong woman! She encourages me everyday to have the same strength and resilience as she has. It's amazing and inspiring. 

I have countless memories of her, always a maternal figure who was there for me, supporting me and loving me through every journey. She has lived through so much history, and has passed along her pearls of wisdom as she's learned from them all. I only hope I can leave as wonderful as a legacy in my lifetime, which I don't think she even realizes she's accomplished.

I am so lucky to have her in my life, and love her more than she'll ever know! Happy Birthday, Nanny! 

Day 7 - The light of my life

Today (and everyday), I am thankful for the most precious gift ever - Miss M. She is the most amazing thing to happen to me and I am so grateful and blessed knowing God chose me to be her mother. The sense of pride and love I feel looking at her is overwhelming and is multiplied daily. She constantly amazes me with her sense of humor, new skills, and bubbly personality. My life has forever been changed for the better because she is in my world, and I hope I am a better person because of her. 

She is my life - my world. On days when things get tough, she is my sunshine and my light. Everything I do is for her, and I will be forever thankful.

Day 6 - Moments of Reflection

Today, I am thankful for sunrises. Since daylight savings time this past weekend, I have enjoyed the ride to work with a little bit of sunlight, as opposed to the pitch black. 

This morning the sun came up rising with the most beautiful orange sky, and it was a time when I was able to reflect and enjoy the silence and prepare my mind to face the day in a positive way, with God's promises, made new each morning. 

Although the long commute can be stressful and annoying, I am thankful to have those few moments in the morning to still my mind and prepare my soul to focus. 

Day 5

Today I am thankful that I teach at a school that has such amazingly involved, supportive parents. Today was filled with more conferences, and while I was exhausted, I was so glad to see the faces on the parents of the students I teach. Today each and every parent that scheduled a conference with me came in ready to listen and learn how to help his/her child. 

I've been at a school where things were not so...when I've called and emailed and driven to the houses in order to try to meet and in the end only have about 25% of the parents come and hear what I have been doing day in and day out with their son or daughter, and that's even more exhausting and draining. 

So, although it makes for a long two days, I'm so glad that I have the opportunity to sit down and talk with each parent about the amazing gifts they have in their lives - their children. I am thankful for the parents who ask how I am feeling and are genuinely concerned, the parents who share their appreciation for my hard work, and the parents who bring in homemade cookies to help me get through the day. I am thankful for the parents and families who care so much about their little ones - our next generation!

Day 2

So, it's Day #2 of 30 Days of Thankfulness - although, technically, it's actually day #4 of November. This just goes to show you that in true Stephanie fashion, I'm not completely caught up with life these days. (So what if maybe in the end I'll only have 27 days of thankfulness - I'm doing my best!) 

Especially on a day like today. Today I reeeaaallly had to concentrate and remind myself - constantly - to focus on the blessings in each day. After a typical exhausting day in first grade, I had an exactly 10 minute break, followed by 13 - count them - 13 parent conferences in a row. No break. Not so good on a seven month pregnant lady's belly or bladder. And I get to have another 12 starting at 8 am tomorrow morning. The blessing there is that they start at 8 am instead of 7:20, when school usually starts. I digress. 

On days like today, I'm so thankful for my hubby. He is the best father in the world, a quality I saw in him when we first met. He is so loving, caring, compassionate, attentive...and he loves his little girl unconditionally - almost to a fault! ;) Since the first night she was born, he took control and jumped in, even when I didn't know what was going on. He helped me through the first trying, tiring months when I didn't think I could do it, and he's still helping me when I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day. On a day like today, when I didn't even have the opportunity to see my baby girl, it puts my mind at ease knowing she's at home with the best father ever. Every morning, he is in charge of her morning routine - the morning milk, diaper changing, breakfast preparation and feeding, picking out and changing clothes, dropping her off at daycare (with a few minutes of snuggles and Sesame Street snuck in somewhere inbetween). It's a lot. I honestly don't know how single parents do it. I'm so lucky to have such an amazing man as my teammate in this parenting thing, and in life. 

30 Days of Thankfulness

I'd be lying if I said things around here had been easy lately. But truly, when is life easy? It's just not. But sometimes, it sure does seem tougher than other times. 

 It's been a struggle to make it through with a smile most days, without breaking down and crying every time someone asks me how I am feeling, or how I'm going to make it work with two small ones at home, financially or mentally, because honestly, I still have no idea.

 It's taken all my strength to drag my seven month pregnant, aching, tired body out of bed at 5:15 each morning, hit the ground running, leaving the house while it is still pitch black and before I get to see Miss M, who is still peacefully sleeping in her crib. I scramble into the classroom and go about teaching 25 first graders and try desperately to stay on top of the overwhelmingly mounting pile of demands and expectations that are placed on teachers these days, complete with managing parent volunteers, high school helpers, practicum students, reading groups, math groups, word study groups, and trying to tie in engaging, technological 21st learning century lessons with rigor and relevance. Just when I think I'm tired and the day should be done, I rush back to the car and fly home to try to muster up enough energy to enjoy the two precious hours I get to spend with my baby girl - my world - before she begins pitching a fit and is too tired to keep her eyes open and I have to fight her during the bedtime routine to get her to bed. By the time I get downstairs, I am too exhausted to think about cooking a meal for hubby and I, and I am past the starvation point anyway. I resign myself to dragging my work laptop out and my stack of papers to grade and I work on them until I've hit my breaking point, which is when I drag myself up the stairs and fall into bed just to do it again the next day, all with the impending knowledge that we have a little blessing coming to join our family in just 9 short weeks, and we don't have the time, money, resources, or energy to prepare for him, which just completely sends me over the ledge. 

... Thanks for letting me vent...

The point of my post is to say that I don't by any means feel that I am the only one with these same issues out there. I know so many others are going through exactly what I'm feeling - just making it through day to day - and to an even worse extent in many cases. 

One night when I was feeling particularly sorry for myself and was having a breakdown, my good ole' hubby said, "Steph - you need to stop and think about everything we DO have. Look at the positives." And he's right. I need to stop focusing on the anxiety and worry and stress and focus on what is going right in my life, for me and my family's sake. 

So, I am jumping on the bandwagon. I wanted to do this last year but just didn't ever get around to it, not for the whole month at least, and I'm already behind this year! I am taking a few moments to write down what I am thankful for each day in November. Not only will this force me to look at what's going right in my life, but I hope it will also give me back a few minutes of "me" time in every day, because I do love spilling my heart onto the paper and hate that I haven't had the time or energy to do so lately.

Today, I am thankful for...

A gracious, merciful God who cares about me, loves me, and has a plan for me, even when I don't know what that plan may be. In my current state of mind, God and I have been spending a lot of quality time together - mostly on my 30 minute commutes to and from work each day. I realized the other day  that I hadn't been spending a whole lot of time with him before I started getting in over my head, which made me feel sad and disappointed in my lack of focus towards a God whose focus is always on me, and he's never left my side - during the good, the bad, and the ugly. How easy it is to turn our back on him when things are going our way, but as soon as the times get rough, we cry out his name in desperation. I've been guilty of it before and I'm guilty of it now. I am so thankful; however, that our God provides for us if we are faithful towards him. One of my biggest struggles is just that - being faithful and trusting in him completely. It is so hard for me! I want to know the answers, how it's going to work, when it's going to work. I don't want to struggle. I want to have it all together for my family. But sometimes, I just don't, and I HAVE to just fully rely on God. It's something that is not easy for me. I can't just give it to God and let it go. I've tried, and I'm going to keep trying, but it's something I pray about in my daily conversations. 

Today I am just so grateful to know that he has me in the palm of his hands. He loves me and his blessings are new each day, which I tell myself as I'm hoisting my body out of bed and amble towards the shower each morning. God has never promised us that life would be easy, but he did promise us that he loves us and has a plan for us. 

Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Cherishing the weekends

Now that I'm back to work, I find myself truly enjoying every moment during the weekends. Especially when the weather is as beautiful as it's been. I love this time of year - when you can feel the crisp, cool feel of fall moving in. 

Last weekend, we took full advantage of the weekend. We started by watching my cousin kill it as a kicker for our local high school football team. 

 

 

 

Miss M. did great at the game, even though we kept her up to almost 10 (eek!) She was thoroughly entertained by the beat of the marching band, the cheering of the cheerleaders, and the dancer's pom poms (oh yea, and the football team!) Of course, people watching provided most of the entertainment.

The next morning, we all enjoyed some blueberry pancakes. It wouldn't be Saturday without a special breakfast treat! 

Then, it was off to Glen Allen Day. We got to see a lot of my kiddos and Miss M. loved seeing all the festivities from the stroller. What a great festival and tradition! 

From there, we headed north to peruse the outdoorsiness that is Bass Pro Shop. Mr. B. was in heaven. We ate at their restaurant for lunch and the highlight was definitely the huge fish tank!

The next day, we enjoyed the weather outdoors at a cookout. Miss M. LOVED the big dogs that were there, although she was slightly overwhelmed by their size at first compared to little miss priss Bella, who is all of 12 pounds.

She was in such delight over the big dog that I had to share this cute video. She just couldn't get enough! 

The day we saw baby #2 for the first time

So, it's been months since we actually saw baby #2 on the ultrasound screen for the first time, but the day was so crazy, I just had to write down the story. 

Confusion began from the beginning. When calling the doctor's office to let them know I needed to schedule an appointment, they could not (nor could I) estimate exactly how far along I was. According to the calendar, I should have been at least 12 weeks along. This immediately sent me into a panic, as I quickly realized this would mean my entire first trimester had whizzed by without me even knowing baby #2 was growing each day. Because they thought I was so far along, they wanted me in for an ultrasound as soon as possible. Luckily, the day they scheduled us for an ultrasound was a day Billy happened to be off work. I had to take off work to make an ultrasound appointment in the morning at one hospital, and then a doctor's appointment across town at another hospital.

We awoke that morning ready for the day, but Billy was complaining of some stomach pains. I jokingly teased that he almost always seemed to be feeling bad on his days off (because unfortunately, a lot of times, he does.) He continued to complain and became increasingly distracted by his pain as we drove to the hospital. I, however, was not going to let anything get in the way of enjoying this wonderful day, when we would get to see our beautiful new baby on the big screen for the first time. 

In the ultrasound room, the tech surmised a guess that I was 9 weeks along. To our surprise, she was exactly right. 9 weeks and 2 days. The heartbeat of our healthy baby was 167 beats per minute, and we couldn't believe we actually saw the little peanut right there on the screen. We were definitely still in shock, considering we had just found out a few days prior. I was so relieved to find out I wasn't as far along as we had originally thought. During the ultrasound, Billy was doubled over, trying to manage his pain. I told him he needed to enjoy this moment and focus on seeing our baby for the first time.

 (I know, I know  -  I'm a wonderfully supportive wife.)

No one knew about our new arrival yet, so after the ultrasound, I got in touch with my family and asked them to join us for dinner so we could share our surprise. I had planned to arrive to dinner a few minutes late with Madelyn wearing a "Big Sister" onesie and the due date on the back. It would be a perfect reveal. 

We stopped off for some breakfast while on the road, and as we were standing in line waiting for our food, Billy made a b-line for the facilities to get sick. That's when it finally started to sink in that this wasn't just your typical stomach pain. Once we were on the road again, we stopped once more so that Billy could run into a gas station. I was feeling so sorry for him and could tell he was miserable. 

By the time we got to the hospital for our second appointment, he could barely walk. Luckily, our doctor's office is located directly behind the hospital. I told him to just drive to the doctor's office and wait for an appointment. I assured him I would be fine attending my appointment on my own. I told him I would meet him at the doctor's office when I was done. 

When I walked into the doctor's office, holding my "Oh, Baby!" folder, low and behold - who did I see? It was my Nanny, in the office for a routine appointment. She was noticeably confused to see me walk in, because Billy had told her I was at work (not wanting to ruin our new baby surprise). He didn't realize she would be so kind as to wait for him in the case he had to go to the hospital (she saw how sick he truly was when h walked in.) Within a few minutes, of course, I let the cat out of the bag (I ALWAYS do that!). I didn't have the mental capacity to come up with a story of why I had had bloodwork drawn and was holding a hospital folder with a big baby on the front, and why I was suddenly here after Billy had just said I was all the way across town at work. I think Nanny's mind was as blown as mine was, and she walked out of the waiting room with a shocked face after I insisted that I was fine to wait for Billy on my own. 

After wandering around the maze of hallways in the doctor's office, I FINALLY located Billy in a patient room, hunched over and looking awful. I knew, and so did the doctors and nurses, that it was time to head over to the hospital. Once we made the trek back over to the hospital, they informed us it would take another hour and a half before anything could really be done, because Billy had to choke down the terrible drink mixture so they could see everything moving through the scan. Poor hubby. Watching him try to sip down that awful mixture while continually throwing up was awful. It became clear that our plans for the day had been thwarted, and he was going to need some serious medical attention.

After almost two hours later, after managing to choke down the liquid, they finally took Billy back to scan him. We did a lot of waiting that day. The news came back, as we had expected, that Billy had appendicitis and would need his appendix removed immediately. 

Meanwhile, the hour was getting near for us to figure out how we were going to get Madelyn and get her home. I ran home to grab our phone chargers, because, to make matters worse, our phones were dying, I picked Miss M. up from daycare, and brought her to the hospital, where Mom met me to pick her up. While trying to communicate plans, Mom thought I had driven from work to meet Billy at the hospital. She was so confused as to why we only had one car at the hospital. After several of her probing questions, I finally let the cat out of the bag (AGAIN!) explaining that I was pregnant, had taken the day off with Billy to go to the ultrasound, and he had gotten sick while we were here. I just couldn't think of a plausible story, and at this point, I certainly didn't have the energy to make something up.

In the midst of transferring the car seat, base, and Miss M., I ran back into the hospital, but they had just taken Billy back to surgery. I had just missed him! What a day! Now it was time to wait. By now, it was nearing the 6:30 hour and I knew there was no way for me to return to work the next day, as Billy was scheduled to be released in the morning, and I had to get home to take care of Miss M. I busily began trying to secure a substitute, and began writing sub plans for the following day as I waited in the waiting room.

Surgery was complete in a matter of ten minutes. It's amazing how fast they can do these things now a days! The surgeon came out to assure me everything went great, and by 8:00, I was able to see Billy in his recovery room. 

It had been a whirlwind of a day. We had seen our baby for the first time, heard the heartbeat, gone to two hospitals, the doctor's office, the hospital again, the ER, and we were ending the day doing well in the recovery room. We were exhausted by the end but glad circumstances were able to work out the way they had. The next day we enjoyed a day of rest, relaxation, and sleep, which we desperately needed. 

And that, you see, was the day we saw baby #2 for the first time! Whew. Thanks for reading!

Miss M's one year slideshow

So I know it's been a month since Miss M.'s big first birthday, but I wanted to upload the slideshow I made for her party. I had so much fun making it, and spent countless hours crying as I put it together. I'm so glad I was able to capture so many of her memorable moments from her first year and put them together in a way that we'll be able to relive time after time. 

She's (FINALLY) finding her legs!

Miss M. has been such a careful, timid, little thing in regards to most new milestones. With many of her gross motor skills, she had definitely taken her time. Through it all, I've tried to take everyone's advice, and enjoy the fact that she wasn't completely mobile and not able to get into EVERYTHING. Since Miss M. has been crawling around for a few months, we've been trying to get her accustomed to standing on her own two feet, but a lot of times, she crumples under the pressure and cries like a little princess. 

Over the last few weeks, she has gotten really good at pushing up on things that are low to the ground and straightening her legs, (the first step, low to the ground fireplace hearths), but she hasn't been able to actually pull up on to something, such as a couch. (She's been thinking about it, though!)

However, this week, she FINALLY pulled up! Unfortunately, I was at work when she finally made her big move. :( I was so sad but luckily the babysitter snapped a few pics of her in all her glory. 

This weekend, she has been busy practicing her new skill. She's been pulling up on the couch and the baby gate. Now we'll just have to watch and wait for that next milestone - taking her first few steps! Which will officially mean she is a toddler - so I'll wait as long as it takes!

Doesn't she look like such a BIG girl?!

The day we found out about baby #2!

AHHH! I've been a neglectful mother, and haven't written much (if anything!) on the blog about our tiniest new arrival - baby #2. While I've been trying to enjoy every moment I spend with Miss M, go back to school (in a new grade), try my best to keep the house out of a disaster zone (HA), and just manage to stay awake past 8:00, it's been hard to get everything accomplished that I would like. (I won't even begin to pretend that I've been cooking dinner on nightly basis). Doesn't every one feel that way!?

BUT, I thought it'd be fun if I wrote up a little blurb about the day we found out we'd be adding a new addition to our family - mainly for my own memory as I try to begin to put together a pregnancy book like I did with Miss M. It will be different, for sure - because I haven't been able to do the weekly updates - but I want to at least include important milestones in the journey. 

So,  for a few weeks, I had been feeling more emotional than usual, more tired than usual, and more hungry than usual. (I know, I know - I'm always emotional, tired, and hungry - but this was extreme!)

One day in May, on the way home from seeing Butterflies LIVE at Lewis Ginter, I was so exhausted, I could barely keep my eyes open to get home. Often times, when seeing my bed, I would feel an OVERWHELMING urge to just crawl right in and sleeeeeep. I was starting to feel like naps were a necessity for me just to get through the day. (And let's face it - naps are not really a luxury a mother of a 9 month old can afford.) On one particular night, I was so knocked out that Mr. B walked in and I was drooling all over the couch, and he muttered, "You're not pregnant, are you?" I suppose exhaustion is just one of those early tell-tale signs for me.

 

I found myself starving often - even after forcing myself to eat high protein foods. With Miss M, I never noticed a difference in my hunger level. But, with baby #2, I found myself feeling as if my stomach was eating itself with a starving hunger that actually physically hurt. I'm not proud of this, but one day, I was so hungry while on my way to my parent's house (for lunch!) that I had to stop off on the way and grab a kids corndog. Thank goodness that only lasted for a week or two! Then, at a family get together, I felt queasy at the thought of eating a slice of tomato pie - which I LOVE, and had actually made myself, because I LOVE it. Weird. My sis in law jokingly remarked at the table, "Do you have something to tell us?!"

All these things should have been signs for me - DUH. But it wasn't until one particular day, when I couldn't drag myself out of bed while Miss M was napping, and I was starving but couldn't bring myself to munch on anything other than plain crackers, that I loaded her up in the car and drove to the store to grab a few tests. 

I eagerly took the tests as soon as we arrived home, and sure enough - it was a done deal! Baby #2 would definitely be joining our family. I was instantly overcome with a multitude of emotions. Happiness, joy, confusion, disbelief, and a surprising reaction of sadness. Don't get me wrong - I see every baby as a true blessing and joy, and I was so happy at this news. But, I had tinges of sadness because I felt guilty for taking away time from Miss M - barely 9 months at the time. I didn't want to take any of her baby time away - from her or us. I wanted to enjoy her and lavish her with our undivided attention for just a little while longer. It took a few weeks, but eventually I began to get over my guilty feelings of adding to our family, and I started seeing it as a wonderful opportunity for Miss M to experience the joys of having a sibling, which we knew we always wanted, we just hadn't planned on it happening so soon.

When Mr. B got home that night, I couldn't wait to tell him the wonderful news. Miss M was rolling around on the floor in the middle of all her toys (still not crawling), and we were enjoying watching her cuteness. As Billy gazed down at her from the couch, I casually asked, "So, do you want another one?" "Of course", he replied. "How about in nine months?" I responded, looking him in the eyes to see his reaction. The realization of what I was implying took a minute, and at first all he could say in an unsure, trembling voice was, "No...." as if in disbelief. "Yep." I matter of factly stated. He was so much in disbelief, he made me go upstairs and show him the pregnancy test right then and there. 

I know from there, his head immediately began spinning, as it does when you realize for the second time that your life will never, ever be the same - but in the most blessed and beautiful way. 

Dear Madelyn, on your first birthday

 I have to admit it, with the pregnancy hormones AND Madelyn's first birthday approaching, I've been a COMPLETE basket case. (Let's face it - I am SO sappy, even without the pregnancy hormones, I would be a mess!) Turning one seems so monumental in my eyes, and there's just so much I want to say to our little girl as I reflect on the last amazing (and challenging) year. As every parent knows, there's simply no way to put into words the love you hold for your children, but I did my very best to write a letter to Madelyn explaining how I'm feeling as she approaches her birthday milestone. I will include it in her "12 month photobook", and I hope to write a letter to each child on every birthday, as a way to document the growth and changes they've made throughout the year.

Dear Madelyn,

I’m still amazed that a year ago, you entered our world and changed our lives forever. In the beginning, I have to admit, there were fleeting moments, (particularly at 2 a.m.), when I wasn’t always convinced this new change was necessarily a good thing. I was overwhelmed and simply didn’t know how my life was supposed to change so drastically in the blink of an eye.  However, all I had to do was look into those baby blue eyes and I knew that you were the absolute best thing that could have ever happened to me, and this change was one that in fact, I could never live without.

               At times, I revel in the surprise that a whole twelve months have passed in the blink of an eye. You are no longer the needy newborn I held in my arms for hours a day in a tight swaddle, jiggling, jostling, and shushing. Overnight, you’ve morphed into an independent toddler who has a mind of her own, and my days of rocking you to sleep in my arms are now memories of a time that, as everyone warned, would pass too quickly. The changes in you happen so subtly that it’s hard to even notice, but then, in one instant, you look into my eyes and give me a look, and I realize you are growing up. In your face I see your future – how you’ll look as a little girl, what your personality will most likely be, how your voice will sound when you finally start speaking “real” words (I will miss that baby babbling and cooing oh so much!)

               Although your first year seemed to have passed like that, it also seems hard for me to sit here and remember the years before you were a part of our family. It’s like you were always meant to be here, and, of course, you were, according to God’s plan. “How wonderful life is, now you’re in the world”. When you entered our world, you brought a newfound joy that I had never before experienced. You help me see the world in a new, beautiful light. A light that’s full of optimism and hopefulness that I feel when I look into your eyes and watch you discover the world around you.

               You have forever changed me, and I thank God every day he blessed us with such a wonderful miracle. You help me see the world differently, you challenge me to think about my choices and how I can be the best mother for you, because that’s what you deserve. You help me to constantly put others before myself, and you strengthen my faith as I trust in the Lord to protect you when I know I can’t.

               On your first birthday I want to let you know how incredibly loved you are each and every day. Your road will not always be easy, you will not always get your way (ahem...“terrible twos”), and you will not always be happy. However, you will be loved beyond measure, not only by those who surround you on a daily basis, but even more so by God. I have loved getting to know you over the past year, and am so excited to see where the future takes you as you grow and continue to change. Thank you for being you, and being ours. We love you!

              

Lazy Days

As my summer days dwindle down, I'm enjoying all the time I can at home watching Madelyn grow and explore. Now that she is mobile, she likes to try and sneak out of the room and go discover the nooks and crannies of the house, which keeps me busy chasing her. As her first birthday approaches, it's hard for me to believe how much she's grown in just a short year! 

She's finally crawling! 6/27/13

You'd think that now that summertime is here, life would slow down a little. It has, to some extent. But we still have a lot going on in our household. Including chasing after a little one who has FINALLY become mobile. I knew it was only a matter of time, and I knew it was going to complicate life, but I was so excited when she mustered up the strength and determination to crawl!

In the weeks leading up to her crawling, we may have tried to entice Maddie a little by placing trails of Cheerios on the floor, which resulted in a commando-style, stomach to the floor wiggle, which was close, but it still wasn't crawling. She had gotten really good at rolling to where she wanted to go, but finally, about two weeks ago, she got the coordination to take off. The thing that entices her most are cords and electrical outlets. It's safe to say we had to immediately go into baby proofing mode. 

Here she is almost crawling, and then finally taking off!

Giggle Fit

Madelyn was in such a silly mood the other day. She just couldn't get enough of the "moo" cow her daddy was imitating. I love this video because of her sweet giggles...silly girl. 

Summertime!

Schoooooool's OUT for Summer! Woohoo! 

It's been FOREVER since I got on to update the blog, but life has been so crazy hectic, I just haven't had the time to sit down and take a moment to reflect, which I miss. That's why I'm so glad that now I will have a few more moments to just enjoy life. Summertime is my favorite time of the year. I'm a teacher, duh!

The best thing about the summer is that it means I get to spend some much needed time with baby girl. I can't wait to take in every moment, because I know it's going to fly by way too fast! 

To kick things off, we enjoyed some fun in the sun in the front yard in our little baby pool this weekend. Maddie looked so cute in her little swimsuit, and she just loved splashing around in the water, although it was freezing cold. I can't wait for more fun days in the water, with hopefully a few swim lessons thrown in here and there! 

We also had fun celebrating Father's Day with a picnic at Maymont. We couldn't have asked for more beautiful weather to honor my wonderful father, and my fabulously supportive and loving husband on his first Father's Day.

I know she's starting to realize how lucky she is to have such an amazing father, something I've always known!